Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??
Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!
JFK
Half is definitely a bottom.
How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
Your mum's so fat, she's the iceberg that sunk the Titanic!
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
What do you call a white kid looking at infants?
Pedophilia boy.
If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?
A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.
What’s Elon Musk Jr.'s favorite food?
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This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Ugh, ugh, ugh!"
Gumball: What's that? Is it a twig?
Banana Joe: No.
Darwin: Is it a leaf?
Banana Joe: No.
Gumball: What is it then?
Banana Joe: It's my BUTT!!!
"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.
If you're ever bored, beat up an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why are Chinese people bad at baseball?
Because they ate the bases.