Worst Jokes Ever
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I love Little Mix.
What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!
SpongeBob did 9/11.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
What do you call a person with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.
Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.
That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.
Yo mama so fat that she doesn't need the internet, she is worldwide.
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey!
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"
9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.
It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.