Worst Jokes Ever
I hear coal mining is a rock-bottom job.
Three scientists are doing an experiment. They are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephant's ass.
In the lab, they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. The monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass, and the scientists wait three weeks.
The monkey pulls out the cork, and all three scientists go back and discuss what they saw.
The first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown, then it all went black. The second, standing two miles away, said the same. The third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.
Verga.
Two men walk into a bar, and they both hit their heads.
A robber robbed a bank and ran into the road and got hit by a car.
The cops said to him, "That's CARma for you!"
What do you call an empty police station?
Banana Chicken.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack?
Vegetables.
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.
What's green and is dangerous?
Kermit with a flip knife.
Mom: Go water the plants.
Me: But it’s raining outside.
Mom: Go grab the umbrella.
Me: What???
So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."
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Why is there bullying? They can handle it by themselves.
Why did the man say "hi" to say "bye?"
Hey, Hunger Games... I'm full!!
This ain't your mama's monologue.
I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”
Stop it, Superman is stupid, ugly, and nothing.
God help me, please!
qestrrrr.
Don't touch my pickles - they are very picklish.
Why is Joe cool?