Worst Jokes Ever
Me when I find my sister's diary: oooooo!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Do you want to hear a dark joke? Let me turn the lights off.
Look over there, I say to a man... he was blind. /ratio /bozo /ratio
I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?
Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!
A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."
"Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"
Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"
The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."
"What the FU***** SH**"
Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.
What is the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can walk and a house can walk to a tree, walk home, walk, walk, and walk, walk.
A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."
Who said that?
Octopussy.
Michael is gay and sucks cock.
Callum Coulter
What is Riley Brown's favorite game? Tipping over people in wheelchairs.
What do you call a school bus that you cannot drive?
A friend.
What is a car?
Why do the cheetahs always beat you? Because they beet-ah.
Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"
What's a gay person's favorite meal?
Meat with white sticky stuff.
My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.
Me: Gay puns are the best!
Also me: But I'm straight though.