Worst Jokes Ever
Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
At night, before I got in bed with my girl, I had 206 bones, but I developed a 207th bone.
I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.
She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...
What is the best time!? 6:22 a.m.
What time is it when you walk walk? Time to trip and fall!
Yellow is the best.
What is important?
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
What do you call an old snowman?
Answer: Water.
What do you call Anne born in May? A Maybe.
What did the bee say to the other bee?
Moo.
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
Because it had no body to dance with!
Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?
Because she had none of the above.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
Police: *Arrests me*
What's a dog's dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.
Why does Samsung sell TVs? 'Cause they make them! 😂🤣
Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].
Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?
It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.