I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.
Worst Jokes Ever
Imagine being emo.
Couldn't be me.
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
If aliens were real,
then orphans would finally have a home.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
It is the only place where they can call a father.
I have a girlfriend.
Why can't orphans have iPhones?
Because they can't find the home button.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
What’s a similarity between a priest and McDonald’s?
They both shove their meat between 10 year old buns.
Why can't an orphan have an iPhone?
It has a home button.
Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?
A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples actually get picked.
Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A RC-XD.
What's the best thing about an orphan GF?
You don't have to meet her parents.
I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...
After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"
Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?
He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.
I tried to catch fog today. I mist.
