Cut.
Worst Jokes Ever
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
Black people are living proof we evolved from monkeys.
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"
Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅
Yo mama so fat, she was pulled over... FOR HAVING 12 POUNDS OF CRACK ON HER!
It's okay, you had socks on :)
What kind of trumpet are you playing?
An "Donald Trumpet"!
rtuiyg.
Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
Once there was a man. A man who had a butt.
Once he was at this job interview and he was going to get the job, but just before the boss was going to hire him, he farted. It was a really bad one. It was 47 minutes long and so loud the windows rattled. When it was over, the man screamed and jumped out the window.
He didn't get the job.
I entered ten puns in a joke contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"
The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."
A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"
The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."
Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
