Worst Jokes Ever
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
Your mum is a Rune Giant.
What did Osama give the Windows on the World restaurant in the WTC as a rating when he ate it? A 9/11!
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
Today I asked my best friend what their favorite joke was. They started waving their hands around, and I thought it was a sign to go, thinking I had offended them or something. Turns out they were mute...
What's the difference between a blonde chick and Alzheimer's?
None, because they both forget a lot.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
You really put the R in special.
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.
Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.
A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."
My anxiety has anxiety.
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
Better Friday the 13th than any Monday.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.
What's more stupid than rapper and booty jokes?
NOTHING!