Worst Jokes Ever
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
What do you call two natives in a ditch?
A sleepover.
I donated blood today. In the future, I will try to remember that I'm supposed to donate my blood only.
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
When people tell me to "go to hell," I tell them their address.
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
Why is an orphan afraid to play baseball?
They are afraid they won't find home.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?
TIMMAHHHH!
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 open the door.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
What do you call an emo friend group?
The Suicide Squad.
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;