Worst Jokes Ever
I hate two-faced people because I don’t know which face to slap first. :)
Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.
There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why don’t she stand up for herself?
This account is run by a peadophile.
How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.
When you are chilling in the World Trade Center, and then you suddenly get airplane WiFi.
Why can't orphans have an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
What cigarettes does Churchill's wife like to smoke?
A blue Winston.
What is the biggest fear of firefighters?
Burnout at work.
Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!
My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!
Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?
I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"
Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.
Your forehead is so big it drips pickle juice!
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait!
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.
Have you seen my uncle?
Jesus: I have.
God: Me too.
Lionel: Leona, please no more singing your annoying Fuzzy Bear song!
Leona: But I love my song, right Fuzzy?
Fuzzy Bear: I am going to bite you for not letting your sister sing my song!
*Fuzzy Bear bites Lionel*
Lionel: AHHHHHHH
Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.
She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.
The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,
"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."