Worst Jokes Ever
There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.
What did one Justin say to the other Justin?
- Fuck you.
I have a friend called Jakob and asked him, "Where my crackers are?"
Why did the tomato go red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Someone goes into a bar and asks for a blow job. The barman goes, "Me too." But then the guy goes, "I meant the drink."
That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
I have ligma.
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!
You look like a 2 year old drawing that came alive.
Suck my butts, queer.
Why did the Roman eat pizza? He felt like it.
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.
Look in a mirror.
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."
Why did only blonds show up at Saturday's party during the Corona crisis?
Because their computers flashed, "Virus blocked!"
I did a good job and walk walk home and walk walk to the car and drive. What is the difference between a good [what]?
The boy ran into the gym, why?
Because he wanted to ketch-up with everyone. Also, he got pun-ishment from his "momster."
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"