Worst Jokes Ever
If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?
GHOST MUSTERD
Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.
Stephen Hawking = dead smart.
Oh hi guys. Oh, whoops, I didn't planet this way.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sister.
Sister who?
My sister's ass.
Bitch: Nice eyebrows.
Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)
Yo mama so fat even God could not lift her spirits.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.
Why is Mercury so hot? I know, because the sun is killing Mercury.
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
Doctor, Doctor, I discovered one of the base pairs in my genetic code is erroneously a stop codon?
Nonsense! That shouldn't be happening!
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
Bomb goes Uno.
What do cheap people use to talk?
Free speech.
China, unban Google, r.n. noOoOooOw!
Chase cheated on Charlie with Addison Rae.