Worst Jokes Ever
A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"
"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."
"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"
"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
Best thing ever right here.
So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?
Shut up and comb your face.
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
Credit to omnom.
What do you call a group of kangaroos? Gangaroos.
I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home.
This isn't a joke but...
GET IN THE VAN, JANICE!
I’m sorry, Chairy, but I don’t need four more legs.
One day a son and his grandad were smoking.
Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
No joking.
Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.
What is an emo's favorite game?
Hangman.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.
Teacher: Anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
Teacher: Something that is real, kid.
Orphan: My family.
Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't run home.