Worst Jokes Ever

I know that my jokes are never punny but...

What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.

That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...

Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.

Why did the Mafia cross the road?

Forget about it...

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

What's small, stupid, and has no dad?

Ben.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?

The tap can run.

I killed a Wood elf yesterday. The guard charged me with... mer-der.

Oliver Savagê.

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

Let me Lickitung until you Squirtle.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.

Three guys walk into a bar; the fourth one ducks.

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."

Q: Why can't you run through a campground?

A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!

I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.

My friend asked me:

Friend: "How much is your body worth?"

Me: "1 million."

Friend: "1 million dollars?!"

Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."

Friend: "Oh."

Why did Greg go mad? Because Stephen stalked him.

"Are you related to Yoda?"

"Because yo-delicious!"

I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"