Worst Jokes Ever
Why can an orphan relate to a pack of bananas?
Because they both split away from their family.
Why are koalas so cool? Because LL Cool J ama said "knock you out!"
Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.
I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.
My dad was one hell of a pilot.
Grandpa was a hell of a planner.
Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?
Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.
There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?
When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.
Your mama's so fat that she's bigger than the Titanic.
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
What do you call a sad porno?
A tear jerker.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?
Technoblade never got a wife.
Why can't orphans use iPhones?
There's a home button.
Damn, that joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
Ppnutty68 is JFK's vice senior Ohio president.
What the hell dam, hell dam?
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?” When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good,” and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Savior?” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. “JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!” The Teacher fainted.