Worst Jokes Ever
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
Why is Marcus gay? Because he's gay.
My brother truly is a numbskull.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid,
I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
I can see your cameltoe, you nasty thot!
When you try to close a Google ad because it was covering content, but it was covered by "Ad closed by Google."
You give some people 2.54 centimeters, and they take 1.6 kilometers.
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
What games do you play if you are bored?
Board games.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"
The History of the Star Spangled Banner. By Jose Cannusee.
I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.
What do you call a Mongolian swindler?
A Khan artist.
It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!
Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.
What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars? A Lambo.