Worst Jokes Ever
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
DEEZ NUTS!
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.
Why is the homeless homeless?
Because it's homeless.
Why does Ella have cancer?
Because she’s stupid.
I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"
I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"
SHAENAYA WANTS TO SUCK EVERYBOYS DICK BESIDES MINE CAUSE SHE A THIRSTY HOE.
What do cows eat for breakfast?? Steer cereal.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
Why can't the blind man see? Because he can't see.
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
A horse, a fox, and a bunny join together and make a rock band. They started doing tiny gigs, but they got famous and went on tour. They all got so famous it went to their heads, and the band disbanded. The fox made his, and the bunny made her own. The horse was sad that the band was no more, so he went to a bar, and the bartender asked why the long face?
Me: I’m going to get burrito 🌯
Friend: You can have my burrito baby.
Gay.
Friend: *begins to moan*
Me: Finna hang up.
What do McDonalds and priests both do?
They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.
One hot day a cow wanted some shade.
He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."