My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.
Worst Jokes Ever
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.
Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he’s dead.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
What’s one good thing about a pedophile?
They drive slow in school zones.
Why is the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
