Worst Jokes Ever
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
NWA: Straight Outta Compton.
Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
Why was Michael Jackson at Kmart?
He heard they had little boys' pants 1/2 off.
Dark humor is like water.
Not everybody gets it.
I hope you get raped by a chimp in the forest
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
(Just a joke, no offense.)
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.
Why can't orphans have relationships?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words: "You still holding the ladder, son?"
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a male. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.