Worst Jokes Ever
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.
One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
I would make a joke about your mom, but cows are sacred in my country.
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.