Worst Jokes Ever
What’s something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?
"We’ve got a runner!"
I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
A black n***a crashes a neighborhood barbecue, bragging about his 'hood credentials' while hogging all the ribs and collard greens. The host calls him out, 'Yo, pay up or get out. Ain't no freebies here.' He laughs it off, 'Man, I run this block!' But the host's burly brother, who's been grilling the whole time, snarls, 'Wrong, fool. Time to settle the score.' He pins him against the picnic table, wraps a chain leash around his neck from the dog run, edges him with a vibrating basting brush slathered in hot sauce, and then plows his ass deep and hard, grunting, 'Now you're the main course, spicier than the jerk chicken!'
When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...
Don't steal. That's the government's job.
What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
109 countries can't be wrong. Watch Europa: The Last Battle.
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
What do you call a fart in a gay bar?
A mating call.
What do you call a rich Asian?
A cha-ching.