Worst Jokes Ever
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on the bench?
The NBA.
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.
Bully: (Speechless)
Are you a knife? Because I want you.
If Shaquille O’Neal had a boat, he would’ve named it Freethrow, because he will never sink it.
The people in 9/11 were the fastest readers. They went through 10 stories in 10 seconds.
What's a foot fetishist's favorite food? Hot dogs.
My great-great-great grandpa killed Hitler.
My anus smells.
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Have you played the game Imagine Dragons? Imagine draggin' deez nuts!
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.
I wish the grass in my backyard was emo so it would cut itself.