Worst Jokes Ever
Why are most vacuums gay?
They’re always coming out of the closet.
What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
What do you call five Black people having sex?
Threesome.
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
What do you call a child version of Batman?
The Raped Crusader.
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?