Worst Jokes Ever
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head N Shoulders.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
Why was the orphan so successful?
They told him, "Go big or go home," he only had one option.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?... one gets picked.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.
What store does an orphan hate?
Family Tree.
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”
I know 5 fat people, and your mama is 4 of them.