Worst Jokes Ever
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.
Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.
Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀
British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎
Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle except for Cancer.
What was Hitler's lucky number?
Nein.
So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
What can you never tell an orphan?
Go home to your parents.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.