Worst Jokes Ever
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Why am I idiot?
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the circus fire?
Person 2: No.
Person 1: It was in-tents.
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
Myles Parfitt ;/
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate nine.
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
What is a Jedi's favorite Italian dessert?
Obi-Wan Cannoli.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought a jigsaw meant dancing with a saw!
My cat got run down. That is a cat-astrophe.
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!