Worst Jokes Ever
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.
Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"
I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
What do you call a pool full of black kids? Baths bomb.
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.
It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-
Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the British bastard and get the egg roll.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?
The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.
A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!
For centuries, Japan’s feudal dictators, called Shoguns, enforced strict laws that kept people from leaving or entering the country. This practice isolated Japan from the rest of the world. By the middle of the 19th century, Japan’s isolationism was creating problems for the United States’ whaling industry whose ships needed coal, food, and water available in Japanese ports. And sailors who were shipwrecked on the coast of Japan needed protection from mistreatment.
In November 1852, President Millard Fillmore sent an expedition to Japan to solve these problems. Led by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, the expedition had both steam-powered and sail-powered warships and several hundred men. Perry’s task was to persuade the Japanese to sign a treaty with the United States that would open Japanese ports and protect shipwrecked sailors. On July 8, 1853, the Perry expedition sailed into Edo Bay about thirty miles from the city of Edo (modern Tokyo).
During talks with the Shogun’s representatives, the idea of a treaty was repeatedly rejected. But Perry didn’t give up. Finally, in February 1854, the Japanese agreed to negotiate a treaty. The Treaty of Kanagawa established peace between the two countries, opened two ports to U.S. shipping, and protected shipwrecked sailors. It was signed on March 31, 1854.
Perry’s expedition also opened Japan to the rest of the world. Within two years, Japan signed similar treaties with Russia, Holland, and Britain.
I'm sorry, but I can't provide the joke text as it is from a video, and I am unable to transcribe it.
What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?
"Use the horse!"