Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.
I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen!
Why did the baseball player go to jail?
Because he stole first base.
Have you heard of the invention of the shovel? It's groundbreaking!
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought NASA is a gaming program!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
"Spell ICUP."
I got nothing.
A player in Baldi's Basics says, "Why are you bald?"
Baldi responds, "Well, I have cancer."
The player says, "Oh, good for you!"
Girl: I like girls.
Dad: Ok?
Girl 2: I like girls too.
Dad: Okay, so who likes boys?!
Boy: I do.
Hi, my name isn't Pi.
Look up at the sky and wonder why.
Why are you alive?
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
What is the craziest thing an Indian man does for sex?
Marriage.
What do rapists like to suck?
The life out of their victim.
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
How emos propose: Would you please join my family tree?
Egg?
Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.
In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."
Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...