Worst Jokes Ever
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
Why can't orphans play paintball?
Because they don't have parent supervision.
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
What is Stephen Hawking's best side?
The left.
What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?
Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?
Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.
Fat guy: Thinking.
What's an emo kid's favorite movie?
Suicide Squad.
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What do you call sex with a hoover?
Clean sex.
What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
Why can't orphans go to Costco?
Because it's a family shop.
In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.
Yo mama so fat, she has to bathe in the Pacific Ocean.
What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?
Pizza deliveries get their orders right.
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz."
When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.