Worst Jokes Ever
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
I like my girlfriends like my children: dead.
How did Stephen Hawking die? His wife needed to charge her iPhone.
Hi, I'm Hi.
R.I.P. boiled water. You will be mist.
Charizarding.
When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
A man enters the bank and says, "Hi, I'm robbing you!" The man was arrested instantly.
All of us.
I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow.
I woke up and my pillow was gone.
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
The boobs was funny tbh... But the last was rude.
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”
Why are Communists considered the left?
Because they can’t do anything right.
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "I gagged."
Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!
If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.
You also can't breathe if you die.
So why isn't it debreathiation?
What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?
She died the next weekend.