Worst Jokes Ever

Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.

Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."

So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"

And then she died.

What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...

Water... yup, water...

There were two twin brothers, Lucas and Marcus. Marcus got a girlfriend while Lucas stayed single.

A few weeks later, Lucas was caught kissing Marcus's girlfriend, and Marcus comes over and says: "Babe, I know we're twins, but I'm Marcus, and that's Lucas you were kissing." And his girlfriend looks at him and says: "I know."

What is the difference between cremation and smoking?

While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

When you say, "I'm high!"

But then you fall off.

Why wasn’t the duck afraid to cross the road? Because he wasn’t chicken!

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?

Why couldn't Bob hang himself?

Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)

9/11

Where did Sally go after the explosion?

Everywhere.

Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.

Two cannibals were eating a clown when one looked at the other and asked, "Does this taste funny to you?"

When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.

If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?

None, the rest fly away.

A bear is like your best mate, Harry.

If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.

Why take a nap on the toilet?

Because it's a restroom.

Hi Andrew, this is Nick.