Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?
You after you disrespect me.
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
How do you make a plumber cry?
Break his pipes...
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
He couldn’t see that well.
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
We're all unique, which is something we all have in common.
I went, I saw, I poop at hole. I make a portal.
Say "beans" fast three times.
Now you’re an idiot.
Manchester City is gay.
What did the man say to his wife? "Make me a damn sandwich, woman!"
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady? You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Incest is wincest.