Worst Jokes Ever

Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"

Babe, it's over.

After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.

I meant the movie...

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My disabled dad went to the grocery store.

He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.

Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.

Why do pills work?

Because they are white.

What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you?

A pool table.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan.

A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?

The apple was already bitten.

The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

What do you call a cow with no legs?

It's still called a "cow."

Geology rocks!

A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said, “Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.”

The lady asks, “Am I pregnant?” To which the Doctor replied, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

Hitler walked so Kim can run.

Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.

How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!

Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?

Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!

Alia’s YouTube channel.

Roses are gay, violets are also gay. If you read, you are gay.

What's an edible part of a wheelchair?

A vegetable!