Worst Jokes Ever

Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.

What is the difference between snow boots on Earth Day, today, after dinner, and walking home?

You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?

Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.

Why don’t mountains 🏔 take anything serious?

Because they think they’re hill areas! 😂

I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?

I think there will be many more jokes afoot! 👣

What is the funniest hill in the world called? Hill-arious!

The reason Steven Hawking died is he lost his internet connection.

If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.

Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.

Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!

Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT

Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?

I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?

Screamed till her hands fell off.

How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?

Power off his chair.

What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?

S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."

Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?

One man walked into a bar. A second man walked into a bar, but the third guy ducked.

Why can orphans type? Because they can’t find the home row.

Wife: Honey, I love you.

Husband: I love you all.

Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!

What did the cell say when it was dividing?

"It's not you, it's me."