Worst Jokes Ever
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.
Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!
In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."
"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever.
And also GTA logic.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
Hello.
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Never lands.
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.