Worst Jokes Ever

"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."

"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."

Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.

I don't want to brag, I finished the puzzle in under a week, and it said 2-4 years on the box.

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use a honeycomb.

What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.

My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.

If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

Why does this exist?

Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.

Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.

Is BB hungry? No, BB-8.

Nothing is free in this world, including "Free Palestine."

Why do women get periods?

Just cancel the subscription.