Worst Jokes Ever

Hey.

Girl: Hey.

Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.

Girl: What?

It says "spray on flat surfaces."

I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.

Yo mama so fat, I couldn't see the store.

No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.

Kenya? Ligma balls!

There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.

I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.

*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*

Why can’t Santa have kids?

He only cums once a year.

What two things can you never have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner!

Michael Jackson is like a TV from the 1900s: black and white.

God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.

Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."

What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?

The cat says "me toooo!"

A child molester and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?

9/11 victim!

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.

My stepsister is a big titty goth. Should I tap that?

Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.

Hairline.

Breaking news (2020): Depressed pigeon misses shitting on people.