Worst Jokes Ever
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
Please help me... I’m being held captive by Carl Wheezer.
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
Think like a proton--stay positive!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He read the weather forecast.
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
I got shot once. Now I'm holey.
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!