Worst Jokes Ever
An old man and a child are walking into the woods. Suddenly, they stop.
"Mister," the child says, "I'm scared, these woods are dark and creepy..."
The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Why do orphans always become criminals?
Because they want to feel wanted.
I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents are.
I love my job at the orphanage.
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?
There's no Jack!
Women’s rights *bazinga!*
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
What's got 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...
Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.
Two antennas met on a roof and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because he doesn’t know where home is.
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
"Knock Knock..."
"Who's There?"
"Kenya"
"Kenya who?"
"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
What's a car's favorite place to hang out?
A CARnival!