Worst Jokes Ever
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
When Stephen Hawking died, did they take him to the hospital or PC World?
When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,
I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.
A guy goes to the store to buy thyme.
When he got back to put the thyme away he realized he still had thyme left. This was all for nothing, it was just a big waste of your thyme.
Why did Gemma fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Where did the one legged lady work?
IHOP
What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
How to stop bullying?
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.