Worst Jokes Ever
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get the hell out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Odo walks down the alley and turns into a bar.
What is the difference between white people and Africans? The white people watch "The Hunger Games," the Africans live it.
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
What do you call an Autistic kid?
A work of Daniel.
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
When Stephen Hawking died, did they take him to the hospital or PC World?
When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,
I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.