Worst Jokes Ever

The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.

When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

So they can let me down one last time.

*School Shooter Walks In*

That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.

So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?

Why can orphans only watch G-rated movies?

Because they have no parental guidance.

You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.

You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.

My depression is depressed.

What do orphans' parents have in common with Nemo?

They both can’t be found.

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

My wife is so fat.

She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.

What do you call angry midgets?

Short-tempered.

Your mama is so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirit.

What does an emo kid say to his best friend?

"Let's hang out."

Today, I asked my phone "Siri" why am I still single, and it activated the front camera.

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"

I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.

How did the Chinese chicken cross the road?

He wok-ed.

Your mum is so fat, when she roleplayed Wonder Woman, she couldn't fit in the invisible jet.

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.