Worst Jokes Ever
POV: The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
:međ
Whatâs Whitney Houstonâs favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
Whatâs better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I donât know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying âOoh, I love how smooth it is.â
Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?
Why canât orphans play baseball?
Because they canât find home plate.
Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.
Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
These jokes have a good build up, but in the end, they all come crashing down.
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
Mohe?
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and McDonald's?
One's a drive-through and one's a fly-through.
When does a pentagon have 4 sides?
When a plane is in one of the sides.
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims; they went through 91 stories in 11 seconds.
Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.