Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To go to Chick-fil-A.

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

You're so ugly that I choked and died.

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"

Bowling is like child support: it involves balls.

I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.

I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.

For 9/11, I decided to bomb my twins.

Why can't people understand these jokes?

No matter how much I cry, the white people still left me hanging.

It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...

He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

When your plane heads for New York...

Why was 9 scared of 10? Because 11 was after.

POV: The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.

:me😐

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home plate.

Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.

Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!

Two friends fighting.

Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"

Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."