Worst Jokes Ever

Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...

Would you help him jack off the horse?

Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

A: Because all shows and movies have a cast.

Why do birds fly south?

Because it's too far to walk.

If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?

What did Jamie do after the sucky sucky?

He gagged!

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To go to Chick-fil-A.

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

You're so ugly that I choked and died.

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"

Bowling is like child support: it involves balls.

I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.

I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.

For 9/11, I decided to bomb my twins.

Why can't people understand these jokes?

No matter how much I cry, the white people still left me hanging.

It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...

He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

When your plane heads for New York...

Why was 9 scared of 10? Because 11 was after.