Worst Jokes Ever
What’s Hitler’s favorite letter?
Not Z.
Your hair line is curved like a moving train.
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?
The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
What do you call a girl with no legs?
Unshakeable.
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"
Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.
Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"
Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!