Worst Jokes Ever

Hi Blake.

What is a cow?

What is a selfie of an orphan called?

A family photo.

Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.

Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.

"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."

"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"

I'm bored. Someone wanna chat?

Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.

Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!

Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!

Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!

What do you call an orphan in Alabama?

A virgin.

None of these jokes are close to funny! Btw, who the hell is Gwen?

I got banned from the library because I put the woman's rights book in the fiction section.

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

What’s long, brown, and sticky? A stick!

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Where did Holly go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?

He had no home to run to!

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

Why are mountains so smart?

'Cause they have a degree.

Why do orphans hate iPhones? Because they have a home button.

Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"

"Orange you glad I made it?"