Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.
"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
Q: What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
A: Loading up the dishwasher.
- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...
- But?
- ...
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
I added Paul Walker on Xbox...
But he spends all his time on the dashboard.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
A: She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?
It might turn into ICE.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?
A: Cha-ching!
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
My father was a great pilot. He died on 9/11.