Worst Jokes Ever
I don't like Twin Tower jokes. They always tend to crash and burn.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Twins.
Twins who?
Twins go boom boom today on 9/11.
You're more uglier.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!
Have you heard of Wendy's?
Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.
I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!
I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, then why was 10 afraid?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
The Lenovo computers at school stopped working.
They had to call an archeologist.
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
Billy and Bobby were walking to school one day. Billy pulled out an mp3 player.
"What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just something to zone out the other kids," Billy responded.
The next day, Billy and Bobby were walking to school. Billy rummaged through his backpack and pulled out an mp4 player this time.
"Woah! What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just a lil something to shut out the annoying kids at school," Billy responded.
The next day, Bobby noticed Billy's backpack was particularly heavy looking. Billy rummaged through his backpack just outside the school and pulled out an mp5 rifle.
"Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that for?" Bobby gasped.
"Nice huh? This'll shut those fuckers up for good!" Billy replied.
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.
I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."
Why are ninjas' farts so dangerous? Because they're silent and deadly.
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
Yo mama so fat even Nationwide can't be on her side.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because he put the wrong sock was put on.
Hehe.