Worst Jokes Ever

Not sure if the Twin Towers were destroyed or if they were just purposely demolished. 🖐️😀

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite.

Your hairline is so far back that I didn’t know you had a hairline.

Two people wanted pepperoni pizza... Sadly, they got planes.

A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,

"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"

The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.

My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.

Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.

Life's like a box of chocolates. Doesn't last long for fat people.

Sans: What do you have there?

Frisk: A KNIFE!

Sans: NOO!!!

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:

"What advice do you have for people out there?"

As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.

All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.

My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.

You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.

What do you call a picture of an orphan?

A family photo.

I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay now.

I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.

Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?

To-do list.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Me: Ahhhh!!!!!