Worst Jokes Ever
I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!
So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.
Why are gay men so rude? Because they're fucking assholes.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Okay, so turns out the toasters are not waterproof...
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.