Worst Jokes Ever

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?

Fruit Loops.

What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?

One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.

What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?

Target practice.

What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?

OJ couldn’t kill cancer.

There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.

My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.

Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.

Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?

It was only 3/5 full.

I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.

I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"

How can you tell your best friend is gay?

His meat tastes like shit.

What’s worse than running with scissors?

Scissoring with the runs!

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?

House of Pain—"Jump Around."

What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?

"Where are the kids?"

My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.

Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.