Worst Jokes Ever
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"
Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
*School Shooter Walks In*
That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!
Orphan: I'm hungry.
Dad: Let's go to KFC.
Orphan 2: Boy, you don't got a dad!
Why can orphans only watch G-rated movies?
Because they have no parental guidance.
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.
I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.
As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
He's got no home to run to.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!