Worst Jokes Ever
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
How do you know Adam and Eve were White?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from a Black man?
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.