Worst Jokes Ever
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
What is Jimmy Savile's favorite Roblox game?
"Undress to Impress."
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?
About 3 years.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
What comes after 69?
Period.
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.