Worst Jokes Ever
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"
So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."
He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
BlessedBrian's family reunions must be like a casting call for the Addams Family.
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
Eons it takes to Daveon the haters.
Why did Daveon go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling "Daveon" in the dumps.
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.