Worst Jokes Ever
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?
Because it was in da skies.
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
If sex with three people is called a "threesome" and sex with two people is called a "twosome," then I know why people call you handsome!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist then.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
"Let girls live" is 9 years old, OMG, right?
I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
My name is Gunter.
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!