Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a fish with two knees?
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
Yo mama's so fat, she irons her clothes on the driveway.
Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.
What is a failed abortion? Annabelle.
What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?
*Answer: Quatro Cinco*
Why did Billy drop his ice cream?
'Cause he got hit by a bus.
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
Definition of trust: two cannibals having oral sex.
Why can't two Asians have a white baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.
He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"
Uranus floats around in space.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."