Worst Jokes Ever
Nothing is free in this world, including "Free Palestine."
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.
Mom: "Okay, any questions?"
Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."
Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."
Why do orphans only have 362 days of the year?
... bc they don’t have Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or Thanksgiving.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I suck.
I suck who?
Michael Jackson.
How do you get a million Pikachus in a bus?
You shove them on!
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
Like if you like school (I mean if you don't)!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home plate.
What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.
What is black, white, and red all over?
My third wife.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the road?
Because it got stuck in the crack.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in my ass.