Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?
"Happynese" (happy knees).
You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
Your mama is so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirit.
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Your mum is so fat, when she roleplayed Wonder Woman, she couldn't fit in the invisible jet.
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
Which tower is better at playing catch? The south tower, obviously. It caught 2!
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.
Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why do orphans cry alone?
They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.
Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?
Seek and Hide: Me.
Figure: Okay, hide and I will hide and Seek will be it.
Seek: Why do I have to be it?
Figure: Because your name says so.
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.
Titanic is more bent than a hairline.
Why is Mars red and not orange? Because it would be too bright.
Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...
On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of him?
Well, it only takes one nail.
What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?
It left him hanging.