Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.

Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.

My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.

Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch cold.

Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, most of your jokes are stolen, is not original to you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, keep being you, let no one discourage you.

What do you call a magic owl? Hoo-dini.

Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?

Beth-la-ham

I have a ton of work to do... A skele-TON.

Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!

What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?

The cops had to comb the area.

These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"

I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.

How do you confuse a fish?

Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!

Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.

They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.

What is the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but their flag is a big plus!