Worst Jokes Ever
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
My parents love me.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.