Worst Jokes Ever
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
Fortnite is good.
(Awesome joke, right?)
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
Yo mama is so skinny, she makes friends with a snake.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, you just need to throw it hard enough.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
There was a guy how had a stroke, eh.
He's all right.
What do French ducks say?
Quoi quoi.
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?
She closes the car door.
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.
My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.
If museums are full of dead things...
Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."