Worst Jokes Ever
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet all the koalifications!
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
Roses are red, Justin Bieber is gay, But most importantly, You know de way.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
A swan, a goose, and a penguin walked into a bar... I ducked.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
What has 6 legs, 10 arms, and 3 heads?
The Boston marathon finish line.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!