Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call anal rape?
Ass cream.
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
I like my women how I like my cigars: 7 years old and coming from Cuban in a burlap sack.
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
Yeah, I’m LGBTQ.
LETS GO BULLY THE QUEERS!
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.
The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!