Worst Jokes Ever
Life is like a box of chocolates... It ends sooner for fat people.
Wife: "Hi honey, I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi pregnant, I'm dad."
Wife: "No, you're not...."
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Homemade cookies.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.
Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.
Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?
The punchline isn’t apparent.
I saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' t-shirt, so I said, "286lb."
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
Teacher: What does the pig give us? Student: Bacon.
Teacher: Very good. How about the chicken? Student: Meat.
Teacher: Good, now what would a fat cow give you? Student: Homework.
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
Girl: How much do you love me?
Me: Count the stars in the sky.
Girl: Aww, it's infinite!
Me: No, just a waste of time.
What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.
What is Africa's most played game?
The Hunger Games.
The definition of a stalker is two people going on a romantic walk, but only one person knows about it.